No More Babies Until Debt is Gone

ultrasoundMaria turns three this month and not that the status of my womb is anyone’s business, I will say that it will not be occupied again until we’re debt free.

We were pretty lucky to not get many ”when is the baby coming?”questions after we were married, but now that we have one, it’s assumed we’ll have another. Apparently Fact, society thinks you’re a freak of nature if you choose to only have one (child). I get more questions about ”when is the next one coming?” on a daily basis than I care for. To this question I say:

One, it’s none of your business what my family is up to and two, screw off.

I am not a sensitive person at all, but when people question what a couple is doing in regards to children it drives me insane. There are so many reasons why a couple doesn’t have kids, has one kid or has a bazillion and quite honestly it is none of your business. In regards to the ”only one child (by choice)”, there is absolutely nothing wrong with consciously choosing to have ”only” one child. The love for, and from, one child is enough to keep a house full for a lifetime. I am completely content with my life and my little trio. I have days where I can’t imagine my life any differently. There was a time in my life I wanted a house full of kids and then we had one and I feel like my life is totally complete.

I will also add, this being a personal finance blog, that choosing to have only one child has many, many, positive financial benefits. I’d be lying if I didn’t thing about this often…but I personally also can’t imagine not having a sibling.

Both Mike and I are very close to our siblings and, especially as an adult, I can’t imagine that relationship not being there. So though there was a time not that long ago I was pretty confident I wouldn’t want any more kids, we’re now thinking we will but no time soon. We’ve learned our lesson the hard way and having a baby born into financial instability is not the way to go.

Though she has taught us more than she’ll ever know about finances we’d rather avoid another round of financial bootcamp. So yes, we have a daughter, yes she’s three, no my uterus is not occupied so with a nine month gestational period you’re right, there will be a ”larger than society deems normal age gap between them” but that’s fine. This is my family and it all feels very natural to have a larger (if at all) age gap between our kids, would you like my opinion on said age gap? Didn’t think so.

/rant

What financial decisions did you make surrounding your decision to have/not have kids?

Enjoy Plunged in Debt?

Pid

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  1. I completely understand! We’ve been struggling to get pregnant at all, but some days I wonder if we should just wait until the debt is paid off before we really get too gung ho about trying. It’s hard when you are questioned all the time about your lack of kids and there’s no good answer to say except, “it’s not for lack of trying!” It’s amazing how many people ask this without realizing how hurtful it can be. You’re right in that there’s always a reason behind it and whatever that reason is is none of their business to pass judgement on!
    Saving Sanely recently posted..May 2015 Goal UpdateMy Profile

    • Catherine says:

      We had Maria when we were in debt and her timing is what I equate us getting ”real” about finances with…it was perfect however with the lessons shes taught us I’d rather wait for more.

  2. I think what you’re saying makes perfect sense! I can’t see even having one kid (if any) for at least three or four years, and honestly I can’t imagine having more than one. I know that makes me “weird” in the eyes of society, but that’s how I feel.
    Jordann recently posted..Wins and LossesMy Profile

    • Catherine says:

      I had the pressure people put on married couples to have kids at all, it drives me insane. What bothers me more is that people assume theres something wrong with you if you opt to not have any. Though I personally have always wanted kids it is not a gig for everyone!

  3. Try telling society you don’t want any kids.

    • Catherine says:

      UGH, I feel for ya, like I said to Jordann, it is not for everyone and ”society” needs to realize not having kids is a great decision for some!

  4. Love this! Since me and Wes have been together for 9 years, we always get asked this question. People tend to think we are crazy, but we are definitely not ready for one just yet. Our reason is more due to our business, since it needs me to run it and I’m trying to get ahead as much as I can so that my business does not suffer once the time finally comes.
    Michelle recently posted..How Do You Use a Degree That Isn’t Very Specific?My Profile

  5. Just so you know that since you have declared not to have more babies for a period of time, that you now have a higher probability of getting pregnant now…Lol. Nothing wrong with doing what you think is best for your family!
    Petrish @ Debt Free Martini recently posted..It’s Called Personal Finance For A ReasonMy Profile

  6. I hate that people make so many comments about this too – We get the opposite since we have boy/girl – even people in the grocery store are like “You’re done right?!” I mean I’m pretty sure we’re done but every now and then I get a pang for another one someday so we’re just not sure. I think a big age gap will be nice for you though. My sister just had a daughter and her son is 6. Everyone thought that was super weird but he adores his baby sister and he is able to be self-sufficient, help her get bottles, and just dotes on her and keeps her busy. She loves the age gap so I def support you doing whatever feels right for your family. You make adorable babies. I just loove the photos of your daughter I see every week!

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks 🙂 and you’re right you need to do what’s best for your family when the time comes 🙂

  7. When we decided to have kids, we had them back-to-back, but that was mostly due to my age. 🙂 Chris and I spent many years dealing with questions about when we were going to start a family and for many years we had no intent to start one! We obviously had a change of heart,but then it was questions about my decision to return to work. It sounds like you and your husband know what’s best for your family and that is all that matters. My husband has four siblings and there is a big age gap from oldest to youngest and everyone still gets along and had fun together growing up.
    Shannon @ The Heavy Purse recently posted..Summer Vacation Planning and Saving Tips #InfographicMy Profile

    • Catherine says:

      I’m definitely not having kids close together (already out the window) just to force a friendship on them based on proximity of age and interests. There are only 19 months between my sister and I and we went out of our way to be as opposite as possible growing up (close now) but I have a great time hanging out with Mikes cousin who is 11 years younger than me, age just doesnt always matter!

  8. I am 41 and my daughter is 8, but people still ask me when the next one is coming along! Then they act like it’s tragic that we are only having one. I wish people could understand that there is no right or wrong number to make a family.
    Kim@Eyesonthedollar recently posted..Can Couples Save Money By Not Getting Married?My Profile

  9. anonymous says:

    I have four children, and people used to ask if they were all mine! Crazy. That’s not a big family. My two sons do not have children, one daughter has two, and the other daughter has one. That’s it for grandkids, I am quite sure. I am very close to my sister who is 8 years younger and not close at all to my identical twin sister. I never, never ask anyone about family planning, including my children. None.of.my. business.

  10. I support you in this decision Cath. I and my wife did this during the time we were in great debt because of mortgage and car loan that we decided to finish it first before planning for a baby. It was really a nice decision and part of our family planning.
    Jayson @ Monster Piggy Bank recently posted..Looking Into Amazon SellingMy Profile

  11. Oh my gosh, I’m 29 and D and I have been living together for over 4 years, so I’m in that prime baby time. Now that everyone has clued in that we are the type to be perpetually engaged, the focus has shifted to babies. I just try to ignore it as much as possible, but it is absolutely no ones business.
    Alicia recently posted..Financial Update: May 2015 and a Giveaway!My Profile

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No More Babies Until Debt is Gone

ultrasoundMaria turns three this month and not that the status of my womb is anyone’s business, I will say that it will not be occupied again until we’re debt free.

We were pretty lucky to not get many ”when is the baby coming?”questions after we were married, but now that we have one, it’s assumed we’ll have another. Apparently Fact, society thinks you’re a freak of nature if you choose to only have one (child). I get more questions about ”when is the next one coming?” on a daily basis than I care for. To this question I say:

One, it’s none of your business what my family is up to and two, screw off.

I am not a sensitive person at all, but when people question what a couple is doing in regards to children it drives me insane. There are so many reasons why a couple doesn’t have kids, has one kid or has a bazillion and quite honestly it is none of your business. In regards to the ”only one child (by choice)”, there is absolutely nothing wrong with consciously choosing to have ”only” one child. The love for, and from, one child is enough to keep a house full for a lifetime. I am completely content with my life and my little trio. I have days where I can’t imagine my life any differently. There was a time in my life I wanted a house full of kids and then we had one and I feel like my life is totally complete.

I will also add, this being a personal finance blog, that choosing to have only one child has many, many, positive financial benefits. I’d be lying if I didn’t thing about this often…but I personally also can’t imagine not having a sibling.

Both Mike and I are very close to our siblings and, especially as an adult, I can’t imagine that relationship not being there. So though there was a time not that long ago I was pretty confident I wouldn’t want any more kids, we’re now thinking we will but no time soon. We’ve learned our lesson the hard way and having a baby born into financial instability is not the way to go.

Though she has taught us more than she’ll ever know about finances we’d rather avoid another round of financial bootcamp. So yes, we have a daughter, yes she’s three, no my uterus is not occupied so with a nine month gestational period you’re right, there will be a ”larger than society deems normal age gap between them” but that’s fine. This is my family and it all feels very natural to have a larger (if at all) age gap between our kids, would you like my opinion on said age gap? Didn’t think so.

/rant

What financial decisions did you make surrounding your decision to have/not have kids?

Enjoy Plunged in Debt?

Pid

Subscribe to get our latest content by email.

Powered by ConvertKit

  1. I completely understand! We’ve been struggling to get pregnant at all, but some days I wonder if we should just wait until the debt is paid off before we really get too gung ho about trying. It’s hard when you are questioned all the time about your lack of kids and there’s no good answer to say except, “it’s not for lack of trying!” It’s amazing how many people ask this without realizing how hurtful it can be. You’re right in that there’s always a reason behind it and whatever that reason is is none of their business to pass judgement on!
    Saving Sanely recently posted..May 2015 Goal UpdateMy Profile

    1. Catherine says:

      We had Maria when we were in debt and her timing is what I equate us getting ”real” about finances with…it was perfect however with the lessons shes taught us I’d rather wait for more.

  2. Jordann says:

    I think what you’re saying makes perfect sense! I can’t see even having one kid (if any) for at least three or four years, and honestly I can’t imagine having more than one. I know that makes me “weird” in the eyes of society, but that’s how I feel.
    Jordann recently posted..Wins and LossesMy Profile

    1. Catherine says:

      I had the pressure people put on married couples to have kids at all, it drives me insane. What bothers me more is that people assume theres something wrong with you if you opt to not have any. Though I personally have always wanted kids it is not a gig for everyone!

  3. Anya says:

    Try telling society you don’t want any kids.

    1. Catherine says:

      UGH, I feel for ya, like I said to Jordann, it is not for everyone and ”society” needs to realize not having kids is a great decision for some!

  4. Michelle says:

    Love this! Since me and Wes have been together for 9 years, we always get asked this question. People tend to think we are crazy, but we are definitely not ready for one just yet. Our reason is more due to our business, since it needs me to run it and I’m trying to get ahead as much as I can so that my business does not suffer once the time finally comes.
    Michelle recently posted..How Do You Use a Degree That Isn’t Very Specific?My Profile

    1. Catherine says:

      I totally get that, and it’s smart!

  5. Just so you know that since you have declared not to have more babies for a period of time, that you now have a higher probability of getting pregnant now…Lol. Nothing wrong with doing what you think is best for your family!
    Petrish @ Debt Free Martini recently posted..It’s Called Personal Finance For A ReasonMy Profile

    1. Catherine says:

      I hope not!

  6. I hate that people make so many comments about this too – We get the opposite since we have boy/girl – even people in the grocery store are like “You’re done right?!” I mean I’m pretty sure we’re done but every now and then I get a pang for another one someday so we’re just not sure. I think a big age gap will be nice for you though. My sister just had a daughter and her son is 6. Everyone thought that was super weird but he adores his baby sister and he is able to be self-sufficient, help her get bottles, and just dotes on her and keeps her busy. She loves the age gap so I def support you doing whatever feels right for your family. You make adorable babies. I just loove the photos of your daughter I see every week!

    1. Catherine says:

      Thanks 🙂 and you’re right you need to do what’s best for your family when the time comes 🙂

  7. When we decided to have kids, we had them back-to-back, but that was mostly due to my age. 🙂 Chris and I spent many years dealing with questions about when we were going to start a family and for many years we had no intent to start one! We obviously had a change of heart,but then it was questions about my decision to return to work. It sounds like you and your husband know what’s best for your family and that is all that matters. My husband has four siblings and there is a big age gap from oldest to youngest and everyone still gets along and had fun together growing up.
    Shannon @ The Heavy Purse recently posted..Summer Vacation Planning and Saving Tips #InfographicMy Profile

    1. Catherine says:

      I’m definitely not having kids close together (already out the window) just to force a friendship on them based on proximity of age and interests. There are only 19 months between my sister and I and we went out of our way to be as opposite as possible growing up (close now) but I have a great time hanging out with Mikes cousin who is 11 years younger than me, age just doesnt always matter!

  8. I am 41 and my daughter is 8, but people still ask me when the next one is coming along! Then they act like it’s tragic that we are only having one. I wish people could understand that there is no right or wrong number to make a family.
    Kim@Eyesonthedollar recently posted..Can Couples Save Money By Not Getting Married?My Profile

    1. Catherine says:

      exactly!

  9. anonymous says:

    I have four children, and people used to ask if they were all mine! Crazy. That’s not a big family. My two sons do not have children, one daughter has two, and the other daughter has one. That’s it for grandkids, I am quite sure. I am very close to my sister who is 8 years younger and not close at all to my identical twin sister. I never, never ask anyone about family planning, including my children. None.of.my. business.

  10. I support you in this decision Cath. I and my wife did this during the time we were in great debt because of mortgage and car loan that we decided to finish it first before planning for a baby. It was really a nice decision and part of our family planning.
    Jayson @ Monster Piggy Bank recently posted..Looking Into Amazon SellingMy Profile

  11. Alicia says:

    Oh my gosh, I’m 29 and D and I have been living together for over 4 years, so I’m in that prime baby time. Now that everyone has clued in that we are the type to be perpetually engaged, the focus has shifted to babies. I just try to ignore it as much as possible, but it is absolutely no ones business.
    Alicia recently posted..Financial Update: May 2015 and a Giveaway!My Profile

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