Stressed!

Since a huge reason I blog is to keep me accountable and honest with myself I feel the need to divulge these details with you.

I have been feeling more on edge and anxious lately than I have in a long time. The ”I don’t want to log into my online banking” kind of anxiety. I hate this feeling. I feel sick to my stomach to be honest.

We haven’t been great about budgeting and its giving me near anxiety attacks. I had to call the mortgage people yesterday and ask if we could pay them next week instead of tomorrow (which they gladly did and we’d only be responsible for a few dollars in interest change) so we could have more than $50.00 total to get us through the week…such a crappy feeling. I can’t wait to get back to work and actually making money so we can 1) get this emergency fund seriously rolling and 2) get at least 1 pay cycle ahead in our bills so I don’t have to think about it anymore. We manage living paycheck to paycheck but my nerves can’t handle it anymore. If someone would kindly give me about $3000 (in cash :) or a job I can do!) I’d sleep a whole lot better at night.

We’ve also recently learned that one of our creditors may not be playing ball with our DMP program, I’m glued to my phone waiting for the call/email to come through with the answer. I don’t know what we’re going to do should they deny the program since we were instructed to stop paying them 3 months ago, I’ve never missed a credit card payment, ever, and now would face 3 months catch-up. Effing shoot me.

Speaking of phones mine is dying. Like won’t hold a charge for more than 10 minutes after being plugged in all night. I know a cell phone isn’t a ”necessity” but I also have crazy anxiety about leaving home without one, especially with the baby. I know it’s dumb but when I don’t have it or if it dies one me while out alone I keep thinking irrational, stupid, thoughts; like a car hitting us while we’re out for a walk and not being able to call my husband, because you know, no one else in the world has a cell phone, so what would I do? I have ordered a new battery off ebay for 10 bucks so hopefully this will be laid to rest soon.

I’m desperately looking for work I can do while at home with the baby (that won’t affect my EI) I’ve been applying for anything I see fit everyday, freelancing, cleaning jobs you name it! It’s really hard to commit to anything outside of the house though with a new baby while the rest of the world is working, no vehicle, and a baby that is exclusively breastfed and needs to eat every 2-3 hours. She sucks at taking a bottle, boob baby for sure. This is another stress we’re working on since this won’t be optional when I go back to work in 6 months.

I want to publicly apologize to my husband who has been taking the grunt of my crabbiness all week. I would rather deal with everything myself then drag him down too. No need for baby girl to have 2 stressed parents, one is enough…especially when she’s sick with her first cold (so lack of sleep isn’t helping either of us).

Off I go now to get my To-Do list up to date and organize the money calender…maybe this will make me feel a little better?

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Comments

  1. I’m sorry! I hope things get less stressful for you. E-mail me if you ever need to :)
    Michelle recently posted..Glad I’m Done With SchoolMy Profile

  2. Sounds like you’ve just been having a crappy week. I know that when my husband had an injury and couldn’t work for about 4-5 weeks, I was DYING. We had just moved and it was the worst time. We were constantly one paycheck behind. It sucked so bad. BUT eventually he started working full time and we caught up with our bills. Have you looked into freelancing? Like ODesk? I’ve heard people have great success from that.
    Newlyweds on a Budget recently posted..Making money while riding my bike to workMy Profile

  3. I feel your pain!! I hope that last creditor gets on board with your debt program. I understand the feelings of not having a cell phone when you are on the road. I only carry mine for emergencies. Hopefully the new battery will solve the problem.

    If you are interested I can give you a good lead on some easy work that you can do anytime. It is low paying so it most likely will not affect your EI, but when every dollar counts, it is worth doing it. Email me if you are interested. Hope things get better soon!!
    Tackling Our Debt recently posted..Let’s Get Personal, 21 Things You Probably Don’t KnowMy Profile

  4. Coming up short on money is stressful. While you’re killing time waiting by the phone, you should do some silly crowd-sourced work to free your mind. Use Mechanical Turk and get paid for simple tasks while waiting. It’s not a lot, but it adds up over time.
    The College Investor recently posted..Do You Have a Career or Just a Job?My Profile

  5. Sorry to hear your week was really bad! Have you looked into childminders jobs? Taking care of a couple of other little ones together with your own can be a great income with little extra hassle.
    Pauline recently posted..One suitcase for one year of travel, what to packMy Profile

  6. Have you tried looking on the “help wanted” part of Craigslist? Sometimes there are random “one off” things like detailing a car, or cleaning a house that people post.
    When a friend was going through a period like this (also with an infant at the time), she worked under the table for a friend’s cleaning business cleaning houses a couple of days a week. She got about $20/hour for it under the table, which helped stretch them through even though it was only part time.
    Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies recently posted..The First Rule of Improv: Yes, And…My Profile

  7. Lack of sleep does make all situations more unbearable. Hang in there. Wishing good luck your way.
    Kim@Eyesonthedollar recently posted..Moving from Employed to Self Employed, What Am I Forgetting?My Profile

  8. When it rains, it pours right? Hang in there! When I was looking for a job after finishing grad school I was unemployed for quite a while. You won’t make a fortune, but might want to consider writing for the Yahoo Contributor network. I wrote quite a few little pieces for them and made a few to $10.00 per article. I’m not sure if anything has changed in terms of their pay setup, since that was a few years back. But it’s something you could do at home in your free time.
    KK @ Student Debt Survivor recently posted..Your College Friends are Broke, Ignore ThemMy Profile

    • Thanks for the heads up! I’m quickly finding out that you need to be a US citizen for a lot of these jobs but I’ll check into it :)

  9. Catherine, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I swear I’ve been where you are as far as the anxiety goes. You know what really helped me? Water. Seriously, really long hot baths or several quick showers perked me up enough to get through the day without bursting in tears every five seconds.
    I recently wrote an article about working from home as a guest post. It hasn’t went live yet but I wrote about mechanical turk and vWorker? You should check them out. You’d be able to earn money from home while staying at home with you’re little one.
    Jackie recently posted..Money Tip #1: Think For YourselfMy Profile

    • Catherine says:

      Thank you. I don’t know about vWorker but I know mechanical turk you have to be american…I look forward to your post!

  10. I used to have quite a bit of free time and I used to fill that time doing odd jobs that I found on http://www.freelancer.com/jobs/ – Many of the jobs are technical in nature but there are quite a few data entry type jobs too.

    It might be something you could consider doing while you are at home.
    Glen @ Monster Piggy Bank recently posted..Fruit and Vegetable GardenMy Profile

  11. Sorry that you have been so stressed lately, I hope things get better!
    Janine recently posted..The Not To-Do ListMy Profile

  12. Sorry to hear you’re having a bad week – I’m sure things will turn around soon. Personally I’ve had a heap of success with YNAB (I’m not associated with them at all) and recommend it to all who will listen. It’s a budgeting program that guides you to getting a month ahead, ie budgeting for next month with the money you earn this month. It sounds confusing but it’s really not and is beautifully set out.

    When I’m having a bad week I like to set challenges, like “no takeaway for the month of November” or things like that – it really helps to focus your attention and also helps the budget! I hope things turn around soon.
    James @ Free in Ten Years recently posted..Dinner For a Dollar – Potato CurryMy Profile

  13. My sympathies, I’ve just come out the other end of this with my Mrs. Remember, it’s not permanent, you WILL get back on your feet.
    One thing though, “I would rather deal with everything myself then drag him down too.” No! Your job is to be there for each other! He’s the man, tell him and he’ll understand and support you when you need it. Many a time it was me getting up at 4am just to help out. You can’t do it all yourself, and take full advantage of parents if they’re close, when you both need a break.
    Matt recently posted..Credit Card MathsMy Profile

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks, I know this isn’t the best trait to have and I don’t know if it’s the type-A personality or the momma in me that just wants to make everything alright for her family like superwoman. My husband has enough stresses of his own with work and health issues I hate giving more…I realize he wouldn’t like it if he knew I was directly doing this (keeping stuff from him..when stressed) but I can’t help it, poor personality trait I’ve been trying to work on!

Trackbacks

  1. [...] Catherine at Plunged in Debt wrote Stressed! [...]

  2. [...] He sat down with me on Friday night after a monster work week and together, for 4 hours, we managed our budget, week-by-week for the next 3 months. I haven’t felt this relaxed about money in a LONG time. [...]

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