5 Reasons Your Peers Are More Successful Than You

I think there has been a point in all of our lives that we’ve compared ourselves to our peers at least once. Good or bad we do it. It’s a way that we measure our lives, and though we shouldn’t, we try to define our success and failures against theirs. Successful people are vital to have in your lives. They can fuel you and I believe that surrounding yourself with positive and high-achieving people can have a positive effect in your own life.

There are common reasons to why some people seem to be able to do it all and have it all. My experience is that most of the successful peers in my life genuinely deserve it. They work hard and reap the benefits of doing so. Here are five things your peers are likely more successful than you:

They use their time incredibly wisely

When I say no minute is wasted I mean it. I think we’d all be surprised how much time we waste in a day. When I committed to losing weight and specifically doing my family in weekly FitBit challenges I couldn’t fathom where the time would come from for me to walk and get on the treadmill as much as I knew would be required. I was busy enough with full-time work/mom/wife/house/blog/freelance work and now needed 30-60 minutes per day taken away from something to do this. I did it though and it was easier than I thought. Though I consider myself an incredibly busy person I wasn’t using every minute of my day to max efficiency and now I’m much closer to that. Limit unnecessary social media. Turn off distractions. Make lists and actually do them rather than thinking about doing them. Just get it done.

They don’t care what you think

Caring what other people think about you is exhausting and time consuming in so many ways. Successful people do what needs to be done and don’t really care if you like them or not. I’m not suggesting all successful people are heartless a-holes but they certainly aren’t wasting time logging into Facebook to update their status in hopes to gain a few ”Likes”. The most successful people let their work do all the talking and they don’t need to boast in any way. They are confident in their lives and they don’t need your validation.

They prioritize

Everything. Their day, their friends and family members, their extracurricular activities. They have to. When you stay as busy as very successful people (and I’m not suggesting it’s not all work and no play), you need to form a hierarchy with everything you do. No success was built by logging into Instagram before emptying your inbox at work and no happy successful family man ever puts a friend over their child’s needs.

They don’t compare success stories

Success is such an individual and personally defined term. My level of success can’t be compared to anyone else because it’s a personal motive. They day I realized there was no way I was going to be one of those people who paid off $150k in 12 months, and that I would have to forge my own personal debt-freedom path, was they day my life got much easier. I stopped comparing myself and started putting this time and energy into actually implementing the necessary steps required to get the results I needed.

They are surrounded my like-minded individuals

Most really successful people have a network and support system in place (most, not all). It doesn’t mean your mom and dad are on the phone to congratulate you on your endeavors, it can be an online community to cheer you on- most successes are not made without some support and continued encouragement and challenges (which supports growth).

Success is never just given to someone. True success takes a lot of hard work and my experience is that most people don’t come close to putting in the required effort for the results they desire. Do it though and reap the rewards.

Is Earning Six Figures Worth the Loneliness?

wpid-img_20141018_174316.jpgIt’s funny, before we had any kids I wanted a house full of them. Not that I necessarily wanted to carry and care for a bunch of kids, but as an adult I wish I had more siblings. I have a non-existent family (Mike’s family MORE than makes up for my tiny family) so when we started our family I thought I’d want a bunch of kids. Then I actually had one and drastically changed my mind.

Don’t get me wrong, it has nothing to do with her. She’s great (though every parenting book should warn you about the experiences between the ages of 2.5-3.5, UGH). I’m surprisingly content with my life though. I enjoy my little trio immensely and for a long time couldn’t even fathom adding another person to our lives. Though there would be a lot I’d miss about not having another child, I accepted that being happy as a trio was enough for me, no more babies.

I wish I could remember where I first read the stat that children with no siblings are more likely to earn a six-figure paycheque (than those with siblings), but I don’t. Choosing to not have another child would provide us with many opportunities for both my husband and I, as well for her. If Maria was our only child she would have many more opportunities than if we had even one more kid and it makes me think hard about our decision to have, or not to have, more kids.

If Maria remains an only child I can see how the road would be paved that she could out herself on a path towards earning herself a six-income career. Private school, fully funded post secondary, regular international travel experiences, more extra curricular opportunities. All of these things would be building the foundation to a life full of success and aspiration (though no guarantee) and while I honestly do want the world for my child, she probably won’t get all of these things. At the end of the day the relationship Mike and I have with our siblings is irreplaceable and I can’t imagine not having it, or not providing that relationship for Maria.

This isn’t a pregnancy announcement (Hello- debt goals!) but rather me stating I’d rather have a life rich in other non-monetary ways.  Though I want her to strive for amazing things in life, to reach a figure-pointed income for herself is not one of them.

Don’t get me wrong, I want her to be the best she can be at everything she does, and if she manages to land a job that earns her a significant income, that’s great! But if she doesn’t have anyone to share her life with, will it be worth it? While you can have support, love and friendship with people who aren’t your siblings, I have a goal as a parent to raise her- and future kid(s)- to always love and support each other. I truly believe that when nurtured properly, a good sibling relationship is irreplaceable. When you have nothing else in life you will always have your sibling and that is worth more than any amount of money to me.


(Just so you don’t think I’m making this stuff up here’s a link to a related article

What to Do When You Need Money in a Pinch

I’d like to think everyone has experienced a financial pinch at least once in their lives and know that it can be incredibly stressful. Though we’re pretty comfortable now, between living on a budget and having an emergency fund in place, for years we lived on the edge and it wasn’t fun.

Though I love my job, I hate that I still get paid via physical check. My boss is incredibly good at making sure we’re always paid in full, on time, but I remember once when he left for vacation during a normal pay period and totally forgot to have things in place for us to actually get paid. Needless to say it was stressful for everyone involved.

On top of not getting paid on time, this was also before we had our finances in order and an emergency fund to depend on. We were beyond stressed out. We needed that money, no and ifs or butts! Though my boss was working hard from his destination vacation, calling a bank to get cash out for all of us, I knew there was going to be a one to two day delay and there was nothing I could do about it.

Obviously we now have a small emergency fund in place for such occurrences but at the time I didn’t have that option. Lucking I was able to call our mortgage company and ask them to change the billing date by three days so we wouldn’t be penalized in any way. I eventually got my money and we were able to avoid having a mortgage payment bounce, but again, it was super stressful for those few days.

We totally lucked in with being able to move the mortgage date. Had we not been able to I suspect we would have needed to call the bank of Mom and Dad for a loan or look into a service such as Check n’ Go, a company that prides themselves in helping people who find themselves in a pinch- just like us.

Luckily we didn’t need to do anything and I sleep much better knowing our emergency fund is there when we may need it. You’d think after this fiasco my boss would switch to modern day online banking and pay his employees with direct deposit but no such luck, six years later I still diligently await payday as if I was 15.

The Best Things About Being in Debt

Debt gets a negative rap all the time, and rightfully so, no one should go out and actually thrive for a life in debt but I feel like weren’t meant to learn from it. When looked at differently, being in debt magnifies ones life and if you actually look through the glass to analyze what your life in debt is like, it’s not always bad.

I believe everything in life happens for a reason. Interpret this however you want but I truly believe in my heart and soul that nothing is put on us that we can’t handle. Though it may take years to understand, it will all make sense in the end. With this in mind, I’ve opened my eyes to see my debt-ridden world through a different set of eyes, what am I supposed to be learning about all this? Here are the best things my debt has taught me:

I’m capable of some pretty amazing things. If someone had told me I was able to accomplish what Mike and I actually have since starting this journey, I would have laughed at you. In the last two years we’ve paid off almost $40,000 worth of the debt we carried around for the previous four years. Come 2017 all of the $143,000 worth of debt will be gone. To do this we’ve made big life changes and decisions, we both hold down two jobs (we all know how time consuming blogging and freelancing is!), and we have an amazing life with our friends and family. We seriously kick ass.

I need my husband more than ever. I never ask for help. It’s a flaw I recognize in myself, I’m stubborn and until I’m at my breaking point I won’t ask anyone for help, him included. Throughout this journey though there have been times I’ve needed help with money management (my household job) and he’s delivered tenfold. The debt repayment journey has brought us together in ways other life journeys simple can’t. Money is an intimate subject for anyone, throw in a massive debt and a marriage and it can be tough.

I’ve learned I don’t need money. Ok, I need money to live obviously, but I don’t need money to have fun. We have had some amazing adventures for free or cheap that I don’t think I would have otherwise experienced if we weren’t forced into ”cheap fun”.

I can’t live without an emergency fund. The whole concept of having money in a bank account while we were in debt just didn’t make sense to me for a long time. It wasn’t until someone pointed out that if (and when) the shit hit the fan that we’d be into more debt if we didn’t have one, that we started saving one. I don’t know if we would have learned this lesson if not for the debt and my blogging ventures.

I’m learning invaluable lessons. If I wasn’t in debt I don’t know that I would appreciate money as much as I do. I’ve learned so much about money management in the last few years, because I’ve had to if I want to pay this debt off, and these lessons will be with me forever. I will also teach my daughter all the lessons we’ve learned in hopes she can avoid these mistakes.

A debt free life is worth working for. Being in debt has taught me exactly how I don’t want my life to be and for this lesson I’m thankful for it (debt). I can say we have lived through some of the toughest days we will ever experience as a married couple. Weathering this together means we really do appreciate the life we are building for our family. All too often people just wish for more, more, more but we won’t be them. We’ve lived the lowest we likely ever will (and our ”lowest” is still pretty damn good, don’t get me wrong), but it’s maintained our priorities in life. We have a realistic outlook on the life we’re building.

What has debt taught you?

Our Next Big Purchase

I’ve talked about this before but we’re a one vehicle family and for the most part we make it work. There are definitely some downsides to only having one vehicle but for the most part I enjoy it. I like that we only have one vehicle to budget for and I like that we only have one vehicle worth of expenses each month like gas, insurance and maintenance. The gig will soon be up.

Honestly, if it weren’t for my amazing family we couldn’t make it work. We are super fortunate that my in-laws are so close and have flexible schedules to help when Mike is travelling out-of-town and can’t pick Maria up from daycare. This also involves picking me up from the bus when I get to the depot on days that I work. It works , but isn’t always ideal.

Though this is simply an inconvenience that we deal with fine, I hate that on my days off I can’t be as productive as I’d like because I don’t have access to a car. I can’t get the grocery shopping done or errands run unless I can drop Mike off at work and take our vehicle. This is rare because when he’s at work he almost always needs access to a vehicle as he drives around to job sites.

After we’re finished paying off our consolidation loan (six months away!) we will be paying our current vehicle off next. Paying our vehicle off next means it will be paid off almost a year before expected date. As much as I love the idea of a fully paid off vehicle, refinancing your car loan is a new option if you’re interested in purchasing a new vehicle. To be honest I’ve never even heard of such a thing until recently but it might be something to look into.

I don’t suspect we’d do anything like refinancing as we’re working so hard to pay our debts off, not really looking into refinancing options, instead, I think we’ll start saving next year for a second vehicle. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just something that’s safe, reliable and affordable. As a second vehicle I’m not interested in putting too much money into it as it will really only be used for me to get around to work in and the occasional kid pick-up. Our primary vehicle will be used for our family outings and for Mike to use for work as he needs access to something larger and much more reliable than mine!

There are many options when the time comes for us to buy a second vehicle, until now we will make it work with the one and spend the time looking into our options!

Should You Have a Separate Bank Account to Budget for Your Kids?

wpid-img_20141116_133130.jpgA few weeks ago a fellow blogger, Mr. Canadian Budget Binder, did a post talking about how having a child changed their budget. One thing he mentioned was that he opened a bank account for their son where all money given to him (government funding and gifts) goes into. It’s a simple concept that I hadn’t thought of doing before.

We have a registered investment savings account for our daughter’s post secondary education (RESP) that we deposit into each month and when money is given to her as a gift, we also add to this account. I hadn’t ever considered opening a simple bank account for her though but I really like the idea. It’s a way of separating her needs from ours and thinking about it for the last few weeks, I think I will open both a chequing and savings account for her (us) to use, just for her needs.

This can be anything from new seasonal wardrobe (kids grow fast and there’s no way we’ll be able to use the same seasonal wardrobe from one season to the next!) or her dance class registration this fall. It’s a way of budgeting her life with our money. I find it’s easy to sort of forget about this sort of thing, like the fact that we need new shoes for her in a few weeks when (and IF) the snow starts melting here. With this account I can go out and buy them without impeding on our day-to-day budget.

I like the idea of her (us) having a separate savings account too for her to have access to for something other than post secondary purposes. A patient of mine was recently telling me about her daughter doing a 12 week exchange to France for her grade 10 semester. The kid was super excited as was mom because she already had the cash for her to go.

Since each child was born, she and her husband have been putting $10 per pay into a savings account incase any special opportunity came up. The rules were that it had to be something really special and something they really wanted to do, like this 12 week exchange trip experience. Their older son chose private cello lessons with an internationally known cellist. I love this idea. She said if the kids hadn’t had an opportunity it would have still be given to them to use for post secondary or alike.

Kids are so irregular with their needs having separate banking for them will be the answer for us I think. Her allowance will eventually come out of the chequing account too, and when she’s old enough, she can start to help manage them. It’s so easy to forget about all of their needs: shoes, new snowsuit, mittens ripped, dance class, wanting to try an art class…whatever it is, by us opening these accounts, trying to figure out where the cash will come from will be one less thing to think about!

Do you have separate accounts for your kids?

Transferring from a College to a University is Beneficial in Many Ways

Universities provide students with limitless opportunities to prepare for life after graduation. They offer competitive degree programs that are taught by renowned faculty members, and most of the schools are accredited by some of the top accreditation agencies. The benefits of experiencing campus life is also very rewarding for students in many ways. You can get involved in social clubs, network with peers, attend campus events and live in campus housing facilities. However, many people opt to complete the first portion of their degree requirements at 2-year colleges and transfer to their credits to universities.

There are many advantages to completing a degree at a community college first. You’ll have the chance to explore different degree concentrations by taking a variety of general requirement courses. This is beneficial for students who have not selected a major. Community colleges have flexible options for class scheduling, and the classes are generally small-sized in comparison to classes taught at universities. If you have a demanding work schedule or family commitments, a college or technical school may be a viable solution to help you pursue your career endeavors. If you are in the process of saving money to transfer to a university, these types of higher educational institutions are more cost-effective for students living on a budget. The tuition and fees are typically lower than universities. Many community college students are also eligible for various scholarship programs.

Community college programs provide opportunities for students with low scores on college entrance examinations or poor grades in high school to earn credits and improve their grades. For instance, if you are interested in transferring to a prestigious university that offers a great bachelor’s degree program for your area of study, you can increase your chances of getting accepted to the school by attending a community college before transferring. The university may also grant most of your transfer credits, depending the specific programs offered to incoming transfer students. You may have the opportunity to receive block transfers. Additionally, some universities have collaborative programs or joint degree programs with colleges, where certain credits are automatically accepted and applied toward the university bachelor’s degree requirements.

If You Can’t Find Balance Between Debt Repayment and Life, You Need to Earn More


Taken on one of our weekends away this past summer

Recently, I received a really nice e-mail from a reader telling me about their success and failures with attempting to pay their debt off and how they can relate to our story. They mentioned the struggle with accepting that ”every penny” has to do towards debt and it was starting to frustrate them. In my response, I told them if they continued with the mindset that every penny goes towards debt, they’ll burn out and that they need to refocus their efforts.

Not everyone will have the same needs but the fact remains that just because we have debt doesn’t mean we don’t have other needs that are required to be met, you just need to be realistic about them. While Mike and I have put a lot on hold while we work on this debt (moving, vacations, retirement savings mostly) our lives haven’t stopped entirely. If you strap yourself too tight you’ll eventually feel the pinch and break free, going a little crazy in the process. You need to have a realistic balance.

Yes, a majority of what you earn over and above necessities should go towards your debt-free goals but that doesn’t imply that you can’t put money towards other things too.

Mike and I have monthly goals to meet for our debt-free date but we haven’t totally sucked the fun out of our lives. We have managed some (realistic) family trips, a few cheap weekends away, some nice dinners out and though details can’t be shared yet, I’m trying to plan a pretty big surprise for Mike’s 30th a year from now. First and foremost our debt payoff goal is met every month, then we prioritize the rest of our lives, which for us is family time.

If you can’t find balance between debt repayment and life, you need to earn more, it’s just that simple. While paying off debt is priority, so is your mental health. Putting too many constraints on your life will not only block the ability to learn lessons from your debt repayment journey it will stress you out. You will resent your debt and negative thoughts will enter. I know all this because I’ve been there.

I’ve attempted to live on totally unrealistic budgets which every month sets me up for failure and in turn I don’t reach my goals. Since establishing a real life budget that works, including a balance between our lofty debt free goals and our life, I’m happy. I have room for a little error. I can live.

To do this I had to earn more money, it took me a while to figure this all out but in the end it’s what it came down to. I’m eternally grateful that I have the ability to make more money and maintain this life but I’m not going to pretend for one second that it’s easy. I don’t want to work as much as I do but I have to. I know it won’t be forever and that’s enough to keep me going. Every month I’m one step closer to the life I really want. Until then I watch my pennies closely but that doesn’t mean they all go towards debt.

How did you manage your debt repayment goals and other life activities?

If You Want to Pay Off Debt, You Need To Get Uncomfortable

If you live your life constantly going the same things, it stands to reason your life will always be the same. If you’re in debt and want to get out, doing the same the doing you’re doing now, won’t work.

I know part of the reason it took us so long to ‘get real’ about our debt is because I wasn’t looking forward to doing the things I knew I would need to do to make it happen. I knew it would be uncomfortable and quite frankly, I wasn’t ready to leave my comfort zone. It took me a while to realize that the biggest results in life happen while working outside of ones comfort zone and leaving it is crucial to getting results.

The first step for us, and arguable the most uncomfortable, was actually accepting we had an issue that needed to be dealt with. We needed to sit down together and face the numbers, come up with a plan and execute it. Together being the operative word. Though we had been together for many years we had never had an in-depth conversation about our detailed financial goals. They were always very vague like ”be debt free”, ”travel” but we hadn’t ever figured out what we had to actually do to accomplish these goals.

Finding out I was pregnant was the push we needed. Suddenly our lives were drastically changed and we needed to make changes now. There’s no way I could afford to stay on maternity leave living the way we were.

I won’t lie, it sucked. I hated making some of the changes we were now required to do if we wanted me to stay home and be with our daughter for the planned 12 month maternity leave. Pushing ourselves to the max limit of our comfort zone was exactly what we needed though. Being forced to live the way we did for the year ($220/month grocery budget for example), was hard. Uncomfortable is an understatement but we learned so much from the experience.

I know with real effort we can live on less than $300 per month for groceries (for 2.5 people). Living in the area that we do I consider this a huge feat. Though I have increase this budget a bit since returning to work, I learned what we can do when needed. You don’t know what you’re capable of until you try. The other thing we needed to do was make more money somehow.

For a few different reasons I opted to return to work four days per week post maternity leave. Our lives now revolve around me having Monday off but if I was going to cut one day per week from our income, we needed to make up the shortfall somehow if we wanted to reach our goals. Mike and I opted to do this through our online ventures and me working more when I’m at work. My day per-maternity leave included an hour long break in the day. I chose t eliminate the hour break and stick with 30 minutes only- adding two additional hours per week to my pay cheque.

Another aspect of being uncomfortable is putting parts of our lives on hold. We really want to travel. There is nothing we could use more right now that a vacation- an honest to God break with relaxation but we simply can’t take the time off work nor can we afford to drop $2,000+ on a vacation right now.  I know it is coming but for now we need to wait, I know it will be worth it.

Shaking up your routine and making the unconformable changes that are necessary to become debt free aren’t fun but so worth it when the day comes and your balancing owing is at zero.

What was the most uncomfortable aspect of your debt-free journey?

Funding Your College Education

As it’s been stated time and time again, student loans are a sensitive subject. There are definitely people who believe that, if you don’t have a definite plan in place for paying them off, it is better to put off secondary education and the taking out of loans until that plan has been built.

Unfortunately, especially for people who live in the United States, this isn’t often an option. Why? Because, no kidding, even the entry level jobs now ask for applicants to either already have a four year degree or to be working toward one. If you need a Bachelor’s Degree for something that is even below entry level, suddenly taking out tens of thousands of dollars in student loans looks more practical than it does a privilege.

The problem, though, is still finding a way to pay for that degree or, more to the point, paying off the loans you had to take out to get the degree in the first place.

Not All Loans Are the Same

There are several different types of loans out there for which hopeful students can apply. SimpleTuition recommends starting with federal loans because they have the best rates and the best repayment terms. At the same time, notes the site, they rarely cover the entire cost of a student’s education, which is why understanding private loans is important.

To cover what the feds won’t, you will have to look for private loans. There are lots of different institutions that will offer them. Whatever you do, do not simply take out a personal loan and then apply it to your education. Personal loans not only have higher interest rates, they have to be paid back immediately. Educational loans, even those taken out privately, tend to be deferred until after you leave school and will have lower interest rates.

Company Matching

Many companies really will pay for their employees to go to school (or offer funds to help repay loans). This is called tuition reimbursement. The details are different with every company and every plan, but if you’re worried about funding your education this can be a great way to go. It is especially helpful for students who will have to find jobs to help make ends meet while they are still taking classes. Starbucks, for example, offers tuition reimbursement for students. Suddenly barista-ing on evenings and weekends doesn’t look so bad, does it?

Corporate Sponsorships

You need to get your degree. Company A needs employees (or is estimating that it will need more entry level employees in a couple of years). Company A agrees to pay part (or sometimes even all) of your tuition and in return you sign a contract agreeing to pursue a degree that will prepare you to work in their offices for a number of years after you graduate. Yes, these contracts are rare and they are difficult to come by but if you can talk a company into doing this, do it! It is especially beneficial if you already know which companies you plan on applying to after you graduate.

Aim for a Trade

There are lots of jobs out there that actually do not require a four year degree. They do, however, require certifications and very specific types of training. These are called trades and they can lead to very lucrative careers. Plumbing, Electrical Work, HVAC systems, Manufacturing, etc: these all require very specific training, certification and apprenticeships. Most of the time, though, these goals can be accomplished via a community college or trade school in two years (or less). This means you’ll spend way less on tuition (which means cheaper loans) and are almost guaranteed employment once your program is complete.

Obviously these are great ways to reduce the amount of money you have to borrow. This is just one part of making sure that your student loans get repaid responsibly. The other part sits squarely on your shoulders. It is important that you learn how to manage your money and student loan payments after you leave school. A few missed student loan payments will haunt your credit record forever.